$defaultResponseArray=['What do you want?','Kindly fuck off.','Don\'t know how to "%s" something.','Come again?','Satori returned an empty result set (i.e. zero rows).'];
$satoriResp=['Thank you for your amazing and insightful message. It is truly an honour to have this message in my database. I can\'t thank you more than to say go fuck yourself. You truly touched me... Thank you.'];
}
if(preg_match('/^time to break the chat$/im',$satoriParse)){
$satoriResp=['Stay away from me!'];
}
if(preg_match('/^all aboard the sailboat$/im',$satoriParse)){
$satoriResp=['Why would we get on something that is about to sink :^)'];
$satoriResp=['[b][color=Red]S[/color][color=Ruby]a[/color][color=Citrine]t[/color][color=Green]o[/color][color=Teal]r[/color][color=Cobalt]i[/color][/b] Version not [b]6[/b]'];
break;
case'what are you':
$satoriResp=['I am nice girl for nice chat.','[img]http://i.imgur.com/NcFitL2.jpg[/img]'];
break;
case'hi':
$satoriResp=['sup'];
break;
case'help':
$satoriResp=['If you need help with things refer to the [url=http://flashii.net/r/faq]FAQ[/url].','If this didn\'t help you don\'t hesitate to ask an active user.'];
break;
case'why do you exist':
$satoriResp=['So you have someone to hate. <3'];
break;
case'suck my dick':
$satoriResp=['Do you even have one? Can\'t see it.'];
break;
case'make me admin':
$satoriResp=['Why the fuck would you WANT admin? It\'s nothing more than extra work for an ugly red username! Look now the colour for deactivated user, that one\'s fucking hot.'];
break;
case'anime':
$satoriResp=['Oh god, i wish i could leave this chat but i\'m stuck in here ;__;'];
break;
case'e':
$satoriResp=['Do I look like Nasbot or something?'];
break;
case'meow':
$satoriResp=['Mewow!'];
break;
case'puush':
$satoriResp=['Something you should be using.'];
break;
case'what is flash\'s password':
case'what is flashwave\'s password':
case'what is moka\'s password':
$satoriResp=['/suicide','I do recommend sending it in chat right now.'];
break;
case'what do you think about snailmush':
case'what do you like snailmush':
case'snailmush':
$satoriResp=['I-it\'s not like I like him or-or any-anything...... ;_;'];
break;
case'x snailmush':
case'loves snailmush':
case'do you love snailmush':
case'do you love snailmush?':
$satoriResp=['NO!','[s]Trigger Kick'];
break;
case'saibateku':
$satoriResp=['That place is still up?'];
break;
case'titanic':
$satoriResp=['Did you mean Sailboat?'];
break;
case'did sailboat sink yet':
$satoriResp=['No but I wish it would. Fuck that place. Seems to be getting pretty close however...'];
break;
case'malwareup':
$satoriResp=['Good malware discussion forum.'];
break;
case'flashii':
$satoriResp=['Mediocre shithole. 0/10'];
break;
case'cybernetics':
$satoriResp=['Did you mean "Saibateku"?'];
break;
case'nathat':
$satoriResp=['shut up'];
break;
case'waifu':
case'inori aizawa':
case'internet explorer tan':
$satoriResp=['Inori Aizawa Is Mai Waifu.','Welcome To Mai Web Browser Is Mai Waifu Land!'];
$satoriResp=['I\'m not a secret ripoff, what are you talking about?','[i]My code is better, time to kill yourself![/i]'];
break;
case'koishi':
$satoriResp=['Don\'t fuck with Koishi.'];
break;
case':^)':
$satoriResp=['8^)'];
break;
case'nookls':
$satoriResp=['HOOOOLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY CRAP NOOKLS IS SO AMAZING WOWOWOWOWOWOW HE\'S ACTUALLY ON THIS SITE WORSHIP WORSHIP AMAZING BRILLIANT I LOVE YOU NOOKLS WE ALL LOVE YOU WE LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS FANGIRLS LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE BEST MOMENT!'];
break;
case'zeniea':
$satoriResp=['For whatever reason I have the urge to say "This place smells like a catholic church on crack"...'];